Sex Ed. 101

Niamhy: ‘Mom, What’s a clitoris?’

Me:  ‘Uuurrgh’ ( this is me choking on my glass of wine)

Niamhy:’I said, WHAT IS A CLITORIS?’

I’m not deaf, just paralysed with dim-wittedness: ‘Um, it’s the tickly bit’.

Niamhy: ‘What?’

Me: ‘What did your teacher say?’

Niamhy: ‘She was off sick on Friday and we only got as far as the fallopian tubes…I need to know what the clitoris is for our test tomorrow, and what the labia majoria are too..’

Me with righteous indignation:  ‘Who the hell gave your sex ed teacher permission to be off sick?’

Niamhy:’MOM!’ (Can you hear the frustration?!)

My only consolation is I was chatting with a dear friend today, who has a beautiful daughter the same age as Niamhy.  She aced her female sex ed. test and failed her male sex ed. test.  When her mom asked her what had happened she confessed that she couldn’t even look at the diagram of the penis, let alone learn the definitions of the parts. 

Darling, I know just how you feel….now if you could just talk Niamhy through the female bits for me…

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