‘Code Yellow’

I hope that you never have to hear these two words spoken…  

 “She is seven Officer, blue eyes, blond hair, white t-shirt and little blue skirt.”  Said with between sobs, snot running down my face.  Jojo, saying repeatedly ‘I’m sorry Mommy’ as if any of this was her fault…The store security officer has homed in on us like a shark smelling blood…he has done this before.  

I would happily agree to never see Imogen again if someone could promise me she was safe – happy.   Visions of scumbags hurting my baby race one after another through my brain, I can’t stop them and I start to panic…everyone in the store can hear me screaming her name – she doesn’t come – she is gone…  

I keep thinking- this was supposed to be a good day – today Niamhy had her beautiful, glorious hair cut off so some child in need can have a wig– who gives a fuck if she loses a baby sister?  This is the day I started to embrace a way of thinking that might help me lose weight and stop my spine from crumbling– I don’t think I could ever eat again if my baby has been snatched.   This cannot be my life, this is not my future.  I have read a blog of a woman who suddenly lost a little girl to virulent strep throat.  I cried when I read that and thought how does she go on? Now I ask that question of myself.  How will I make life seem normal for my other girls when the center of my universe has been ripped apart by a pervert?   

The store is large, I can see the red shirts of staff members everywhere, searching for my little lost girl. They are like ants travelling up and down the aisles.   Jojo and I have scoured the store and are heading back to the toy department where we last saw her, I actually say out loud to Jojo, ‘She’s gone –someone snatched her’ – why else is she not answering?  Why else hasn’t the army of staff found her?  When suddenly she flies around a corner and barrels into my arms – she was in the electrical department – I have no idea why and I don’t care.  She is safe and I can’t stop crying.  

I am vaguely aware of a red shirted woman standing by us saying ‘cancel code yellow, she’s found’ into her walkie-talkie.   We must look strange sitting on the floor in the middle of the store crying but no one disturbs us…  

Ten minutes later Jojo absolutely knows that I am completely off my rocker when I take a photo of myself with my phone…  

So that’s my self-portrait for Tara’s Gallery at Sticky Fingers; I’m selfish, careless and emotional, but I do love my babies – I love them beyond all measure.  

trying to smile...




Filed under Imogen, Jojo, Niamhy, Photo Gallery

16 responses to “‘Code Yellow’

  1. Pingback: Really Crappy Day « Less Guts, More Glory

  2. Bloody hell woman I was scared reading that – yeah I know you wouldn’t be sitting down writing it unless it had all turned out right but still – fuck! So scary! Paul did this to me ONCE and even though I knew he was safe, it was at school so I knew he couldn’t be far and was just “hiding”, it was still a horrendous 5 minutes. KIDS!

  3. Nickie (Typecast)

    I have felt that emotion a couple times – my #2 son was a “runner” – in almost every store in town. The security guards knew us and always kept a eye out for Jake (too big/old for reins and/or pushchair) – as soon as I turned my back he’d do one…

    One day we had a few members of staff looking for him – he appeared out from under a clothing rack shouting “BOO… GOT YOU THAT TIME MUMMY” and I was torn between telling him off and hugging him until neither of us could breath any more.

    He has ADHD and thought it was a game.

  4. God that photo says it all! I hope your day got better. It’s really unnerving and they just don’t understand the worry. I’m glad she was only in the electrical department tho xx

  5. Thank goodness you found her OK. Really great idea for the theme. The picture says so much.

  6. Wow what a story! I love the way you go through all your emotions. The crazy things we think when we are in panic. Great take on the theme. So GLAD you found her.

  7. I can just imagine what emotions went through your mind…So so pleased it all ended happily. x

  8. Hun I read this last night on my ipod touch and couldnt comment on there. I cried so much when I read this. I’m glad it all worked out in the end and what a poigniant picture! xxx

  9. Oh, good grief. I am in tears – you’ve really got me with this one. It is the most awful feeling in the world when you think they are gone. Thank goodness you found her. xx

  10. porridgebrain

    Oh blimey! I would have been in pieces!

    SO glad she was ok x

  11. That’s a horrible experience. I was in tears when reading this…I cannot imagine what I would be doing in your position. Glad you have found her 😉

  12. Can I say that even crying you look lovely?

    If you read this whole post-you will know that I know exactly what you were feeling when my daughter went missing for 30 minutes.


    BTW-someone once told me a good tip when you go out somewhere with your kids to take a picture of them on your cellphone. Heaven forbid they go missing, you may be too upset or confused to remember what they were wearing and that could help the search.


  13. So glad it all turned out well, but what a heart-stopping nightmare for you all. Breathe! It’s every parent’s biggest dread, and we’ve probably all experienced those minutes when the children get lost.

  14. The Boy has done it to me and I was SO calm outwardly screaming inwardly of course. Now have mine going to a Karate group where they teach all about stranger danger etc. and what to do. HUGS

  15. Oh! My heart was in my mouth reading that. What a way to interpret Tara’s theme. Am so glad she’s (and you are) ok x

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