Dear So and So….

Dear Grumpy,

I’m sorry.  I know it is incredibly inconvenient that the clocks have changed and you are forced to rise from your pit an hour early.  I will have a word with the government and see if we can fix this.  Oh, and I apologize for the green mark on your face, could it be from the green marker you scribbled on your hand last night?  No?  Well, of course not, my fault.

Dear Imogen,

I am sorry you don’t have any clean underwear this morning.  Borrow your sisters…no, I don’t think cooties grow that far down on her body – you should be safe….

Dear Crockpot,

I’m sorry – you cannot sleep today.  I need you to transform black beans and ground turkey into a feast by tonight.  Get going….no, I don’t know what you should transform them into – do I look like Emeril Lagasse?  Does anyone?

Dear Dad,

I’m sorry – I should have told you I love you.  I didn’t know you would die that night or I would have, because I do…love you.


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